I used to hate my dad. I thought he hate me too. he seldom talked and seldom laughed. sometimes I thought he doesn't love my mom. He always said I am wrong. but I know he loved my mom, Simon and me so much. I have tried not to cry now, but I can't stop crying.
I remember 2years ago I told my mom and dad that I had a boyfriend, My dad said "OH, my daughter has a boyfriend, she doesn't want her dad anymore." I thought he was just joking but after that day, My mom told me he was sad. and few months ago, I had a talk with dad, and I cried a lot, he said " You have to take care of your mom and your brother after I go back to Korea, you have to be nice to your mom, you will feel repentant like me after you become an adult. Your dad, me didn't help my mom and I never be filial to my mom, your grandma, I just did everything I want to... and I realize it too late." This sentence stuck in my head so I want to be filial to my parents after I grow up, and I just want to earn money and give all of them to my mom and dead and I want to die.
I really want my dad just stay here but he has to take care of his mom and work there. If I said stay here, he will be sad.
I don't want my bad feelings to affect other people. so I just keep my feeling inside my heart, but sometimes I want.